It’s kind of lonely waiting for school to start. I’m not sharing this post on my wall because I guess it’s not the sort of thing I want to broadcast- Facebook is not about being lonely. Facebook is about curating a version of your life where you are never lonely, because you are so great that you are always seeing other people.
To be clear, I am perfectly happy in just my own company for long stretches of time. And I am seeing some people- my dad and brother. And I did have breakfast with my old math class this morning, or at least most of it. We were pretty close in high school, so it was really nice to see them- I had a good time. But for the most part I don’t see anyone my own age, and all the people my own age seem to be seeing each other without me. But then I do things like meet my math class and post a photo on Facebook, so it must seem like I’m seeing a lot of people my own age even though I’m not. I also have that weird rule for myself that if initiate social contact, it doesn’t really mean anyone’s interested, just that they’re being polite, and in large part people aren’t initiating contact with me. It probably doesn’t mean much- when I’m busy I don’t initiate contact with too many people, and people are probably busy. But it’s like fundamental attribution error- when you don’t know what situation people are in, you attribute their actions to their character even when their actions are situational. I guess I’m attributing lack of contact to my relationships even though it might be situational. And then even when you have online contact with people, it almost doesn’t stick, like how if you were hungry and you ate a bunch of iceberg lettuce, even though you were eating you wouldn’t get full.
I don’t know.
I don’t have much else to report. I’m going to see a lot of shows with my dad in the evenings, and I’m getting to go to the gym pretty regularly, which is nice because my mood is much better after working out. The only thing I will miss about having this much free time is the ability to go to the gym almost every day without sacrificing anything else. I have annoying blisters from the rowing machine- I’m thinking about rowing crew in college (if only for the irony of ME being a Div I athlete (yes, crew at MIT is the only Div I sport)). Walk-ons who start rowing in college are pretty much the rule, not the exception. In other words, most people who row in college did not row in high school. So anyway, to keep my options a little more open I’m rowing a little. I just need to figure out how much distance is reasonable to add per day- I don’t want to go crazy and injure myself, but I do want to build endurance. I think I could try to row an additional 250 meters every day? It seems modest, but it would add up. Anyway, on the subject of crew at MIT, I’m just worried about the time commitment- 20 hours a week seems really crazy, and I’ll have to manage my classes and I’ll want to manage a social life. Also, I don’t think I could take a weekend off to do something fun, which I’m really not into. Overall, it might just be better to keep going to the gym on my own, even if it has none of the socialization benefits of joining a team.
I saw Back To The Future last night in the park, and it was really good. I had forgotten how well-constructed that movie is. It’s also weird that the movie is set in 1985, and in the sequel they travel 30 years in the future, to 2015, which is of course this year. We’ve failed to come up with most of the technology in the sequel, but I suppose that always happens when people try to envision the future. I think when people envision the future, they tend to think about improvements to the technology they have currently, when really the biggest innovations are totally novel.
I only have to wait a few more days… nine until my Freshman Pre-Orientation Program (FPOP) starts, and six until I leave. Just gotta keep on keeping on. By the way, this may be my last every-other day post. We leave to go camping on the 18th, and I probably won’t post while camping. I’ll probably post on the 21st, after we return, and maybe once during the FPOP and once during orientation, but this is the end of my every-other day experiment.
It’s been fun, folks. Thanks for reading.