Before this post, shoutout to all the places in which people had read this blog by last night: Australia, Austria, Canada, Costa Rica, France, Germany, Hong Kong SAR China, Israel, Norway, Puerto Rico, Romania, South Korea, Taiwan, Ukraine, and the United States! After the US, the second most views came from Taiwan… four for you, Taiwan! You go, Taiwan!
I love my cats, but having them in my room all the time has been a nightmare.
We’ve gotta talk about fecal bacteria, folks. It’s true that cat urine is unpleasant, but my real problem with having the cats in my room 24/7 is that they have to use the litter box to poop in my room. I’m not trying to be crass, but that’s the reality. Cat urine is not sterile like human urine (according to some pretty unreliable sources, but several of them. I tried to find a good source, but instead found a study entitled, I shit you not, “Effects of Storage Time and Temperature on pH, Specific Gravity, and Crystal Formation in Urine samples from Dogs and Cats.” It studied 31 cats and 8 dogs, during what I can only assume was a pungent lab experience.) But despite the fact that there are bacteria in the urine, (according to equally poor sources) most bacteria in cat urine are gram-positive bacteria, which, in addition to having a thick peptidoglycan layer, tend to be non-pathogenic. Apparently the lower third of the urethra is not sterile in cats, as it is in humans. However, you know what’s even less sterile? My cat’s colon.
Which brings me back to poop, where the real bacteria are. That’s the nasty stuff. I just… have no interest in tracking fecal bacteria into my bed from cat litter on my floor. No interest. As a result, I’ve been wearing socks when I have to walk on the floor of my room, and then taking them off when I get to bed. Luckily, I have plenty of socks.
So, I embarked upon cleaning my floors. Here are my thoughts:
- God gave us the Swiffer as a reward for something. Perhaps, say, when Salk decided not to patent the polio vaccine, God was like, “well I guess they’re not all bad and selfish after all!” and gave us the Swiffer.
- Tidy Cats cat litter does not have the deodorizing power of Arm and Hammer cat litter. Come at me, Tidy Cats enthusiasts, but can you beat the majesty of Arm and Hammer Baking Soda? You cannot.
- I am not fully to blame for the state my room is in. I’ve been away for a while, and we are moving, which creates clutter. Still, I need to clean more than just the floors today!
- Despite the majesty of Arm and Hammer, I still need to buy some Febreeze. If it works, I’m going to use it in college. I think it goes without saying that I will use the miracle that is Swiffer in college.
- I had to change the socks I was wearing to clean at one point because I realized otherwise I would track kitty litter into the apartment. I don’t care what I have to do, but I am never going to let my floors become that unclean again.
- I should have done more chores as a kid. My parents had every right to use their money to pay to not have to clean their house, but I wish I had had more chores in elementary and middle school. Cleaning my floors last night took me like 20 minutes when it should have taken 5.
And now, today, as I wake up, less than nine hours later, my floors are dirty again. Someone vomited and I’m going to have to clean it up, and there’s a fair amount of kitty litter scattered across the floor. Entropy wins again. C’est la vie.
You may wonder why I am posting this so early (for me) in the morning. Or, perhaps more probably, you do not wonder because you were not aware of the time at which it was posted, or because you don’t care. Fair enough, but I’m going to tell you anyway. I had to bring my bike up to my dad’s, and he has his bike here (obviously), so we wanted to get up early this morning to go for a bike ride. However, when I woke up this morning it was not only to the sight of cat vomit on my floors but also to an impressively dark grey cloud stretched across my entire field of vision. Since then it has begun to rain. The upside is that I like rainy days, and the lightning is a pretty purple color. The downside is that I’m up early for no appreciable reason.
Oh well. Good morning!